I hope everyone is staying cool during these hot months. I’m trying to find the perfect balance between my love of coffee and my need to feel chill. Today, I’m writing to share important updates that include the ability to accept new insurance plans and an exciting feature story that highlights my personal story and the mission of Overcomers Counseling.

So, let’s cut to the chase with all my news. First, I joined a company called Headway which will allow me to accept Aetna, Anthem/Blue Cross/Blue Shield of Georgia, Cigna, Oxford, Oscar Health and United Healthcare Insurances. I continue to accept Humana, Tricare and private pay as well. I’m using Headway to manage my billing and admin work, so that I can focus my energy on our time together. Headway manages everything related to payments and insurance, and clients have found that they make it really easy. They’ll send you an email directly, prompting you to create an account and provide your insurance information and a credit card for your copay or deductible. Headway will use your existing insurance benefits, which will determine your cost per session. When you’re ready to get started in the process, visit my personal headway link at https://headway.co/providers/kimberly-duff.

Next, I’m very excited to share a feature on my personal history and business by the writers at Canvas Rebel. Be sure to check it out by going to https://canvasrebel.com/meet-kimberly-duff/

In closing, I’m a phone call or email away if you or someone you know wants to explore the counseling process or schedule an appointment. I want to be there for anyone struggling with mental health, physical health or family issues. As a counselor with over 15 years of experience, I specialize in Christian counseling, disability and chronic illness, and military and their family members. Visit me online at https://www.kimberlyduff.com or send a secure email to [email protected] for more information.

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Raindrops​ on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

 Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes
Silver-white winters that melt into springs
These are a few of my favorite things

​When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don't feel so bad

[…]

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This is a guest post on 5 Simple Self-Care Practices by Brad Krause from SelfCaring.info. Brad is dedicated to helping people discover that we all have the potential to be the best versions of ourselves we can possibly be, but it comes down to prioritizing our own wellness through self-care.

[…]

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Sometimes in life you have to be willing to “do it afraid!” Here are some steps to help you take stock, consider your options, and move forward even if you’re scared:

1. Consider Health Issues when Making a Decision

As a cancer survivor with multiple disabilities, I was not the average girl starting a family.  I had undergone extensive treatments that included multiple rounds of radiation and powerful chemotherapy.  What was the impact on my fertility?  How did this impact a future child? Should we fear birth defects, and would I even be able to have a baby? I began to search for the answers to these questions by asking my current and former doctors about the risks of pregnancy and childbirth.

• Always put your health first
• Research online, get opinions of doctors, and listen to your heart

2. Consider Practical Issues and the “real world”

After receiving the news that there was no reason I couldn’t have a child and that no obvious risks for birth defects existed, we next began to explore the practical concerns

Some of the initial concerns included how to handle a variety of tasks without vision.  Changing diapers, feeding the baby, getting the baby to appointments, traveling with 2 blind parents and a baby.  How could we possibly do these things?  We slowly found answers to these questions and formulated a plan.  There were a variety of resources out there such as a blind parents Facebook group and web sites that described how blind parents handled many tasks.

• Make a plan before you take action
• Consult with others with your limitations who have gone before you
• Consult with professionals who can offer suggestions about adaptive ways of facing the problem

3. What to do When the Rest of the World Thinks You’re Crazy

Now here’s where things got interesting…we next began to discuss our decision to have a baby with family and friends. I know our family and friends meant well, but you have to remember that most people don’t understand how we do the simplest of tasks.  Cooking, cleaning, working and just putting on makeup; this all looks impossible to the average outsider.

Thus, as we began to share our hopes and desires to have a baby with those around us, we had a variety of responses that contained elements of fear and caution mixed in with a little happiness along the way. Part of me wanted  to hear, “We will be there for you to help in any way we can,” or “Let us know how we can help.”  Yet, the reality was those on the outside had more questions and concerns than we did.

4. Remember God is the Only one you can Trust

This led me back to the rock, the firm foundation in my life.  Christ my Savior, my hope of glory.  He had brought me through before when things were impossible, and he would have to do it again.    Yet, I had no idea what kinds of struggles were ahead.  We were in unchartered territory and having a baby meant we were responsible for this life and its safety and well-being.

• Realize that your friends and family will always fall short
• Learn to put your faith in God to help you through whatever you may face
• have confidence in your ability to handle each challenge with God’s help.

5. Take a leap of Faith and Believe in Yourself

I once overheard a family friend jokingly say to my pregnant friend about her pregnancy, “You guys are smart people, we knew you guys would figure things out eventually!”  While this statement is funny, it illustrates the simplicity of childbirth.  After all, isn’t it a simple A+B=C transaction?  As I analyzed the many complicated angles of becoming blind parents, I eventually realized that I was making things too complicated.  After all, people had been having babies for thousands of years.

In the end, I realized deciding to become a parent was that simple.  With a little cooperation from my husband, we decided to take the plunge and to start trying to become pregnant.  I didn’t have all the answers, and I didn’t even know if I would be able to get pregnant due to my medical history.  I must admit, I truly didn’t believe it could be that simple.  Everything else I had accomplished in life took hard work.  I was used to failure, I was used to trying again and again, so you can imagine how amazed I was when I learned I was pregnant.  Not only that, I had been in this condition for 13 weeks before I realized our attempt was successful!

Isn’t that the way life is sometimes?  We think things have to be hard or complicated when all we need to do is to step out.  I can’t even say I always even step out in faith. Yet, as I continue to keep moving forward, one step at a time.  I am able to fill in the blanks as I go.

• Step out in faith, and do it afraid!
• Don’t be surprised when God grants you the desires of your heart
• Don’t be concerned that you don’t have all the answers, you can figure it out as you go!

In this blog entry, I presented 5 suggestions to help people with disabilities and others  learn how to pursue their dreams when these dreams seem impossible.  These steps  include consider and research health issues that may impact your dream, consider practical issues and limitations and how these impact the dream, and make a plan,  Finally, realize God is the only one you can trust and step out and take a leap of faith.

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“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it,” Helen Keller

What is the meaning of our suffering?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  What is the difference in the person who encounters disability or illness and accomplishes great things versus the one who becomes angry and despondent after adversity?

In this entry, I examine the importance of finding meaning in our challenges, the role of psychological resilience in dealing with our problems, and using suffering to learn and grow.

Finding Meaning —

Existential therapy can be viewed as a process in which the individual focuses on finding meaning in life.  Victor Frankl, the founder of this form of therapy, believed that people have problems when they lack meaning for their present situation.  Using this therapy, I guide the individual in making choices to find this meaning.  Additionally, I encourage autonomy and positive choices.  I empower the client to make choices to reach the goal that the individual feels leads to purpose and meaning in his or her life.

For example, what if Bob has lost his job and now is questioning his career?  I would assist Bob in exploring the big picture, such as what can he do to be happier and more successful in his career?  So, what if Bob decides that he wasn’t meant to be a teacher and this really didn’t fulfill his purpose?  He had always wanted to be a nurse, but his mother had pushed him to enter the teaching field.  The discovered meaning ofhis job loss was to lead him to his life purpose of becoming a nurse.

* Anxiety results from a lack of control and personal responsibility for life’s choices.

* Person is the author of his or her own life.

* Goal — Individual makes positive choices to reach goals and create meaning

Resilience —

Next, we consider the topic of resilience.  According to dictionary.com, this is defined as:

1.  the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.

2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity, or the like.

Resilience is characterized by the personal traits that allow the individual to overcome life’s hardships and to bounce back after going through problems.  What are these traits?  According to Hara Estroff Marano of Psychology Today, these individuals possess a strong personal identity and positive attitude and a flexible psyche that allows them to be optimistic and to plan for emotional hardships.  They find meaning in adversity but don’t let their problems define their lives.  People who practice resilience surround themselves with other positive people and gain strength from these individuals.

They also implement coping strategies and know when to seek help from others, including professional interventions.

Characteristics of the resilient overcoming Self:

* Positive attitude with a positive outlook on the future

* Positive choices lead to the pursuit of personal goals.

 World view of the resilient individual:

* Life not defined by problems

* Problems are viewed as temporary

* Believe things will get better

* Believe problems have meaning or serve a greater purpose

Relationships with others for improved resilience:

* Surrounded by positive, supportive friends

* Implement coping skills that include advice of professionals

* Look to trusted mentors for direction

Sue lost her leg in an automobile accident.  Everyone notices that she is always smiling and has a wonderful outlook on life.  Sue loves swimming as an athlete with a disability.  She gains strength and encouragement through her activities with other teammates with disabilities.  Sue experiences pain in her muscles related to her accident, but she has learned to cope with this effectively by using pain management techniques taught to her by her therapist.

The Law of Use —

Finally, we examine the Law of Use.  “Just as we develop our physical muscles by overcoming opposition, -such as lifting weights-  we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity,” –Stephen Covey– Now consider the role of experience in our personal growth.  We can maintain that challenge and adversity leads to growth and strength as we learn specific skills to handle these events.  This is the law of use; a principle that represents the phenomenon of increase that occurs as we put stress on a skill or muscle, or the decrease that occurs if we neglect a part of our body or a practiced skill.  Whether we experience job loss, physical illness or disability, every experience brings with it a unique set of interpersonal skills and new dimensions of character development.  As we grow and age, we develop wisdom about life and learn strategies to handle more and more problems.  The psychologically healthy person views life’s challenges as a learning opportunity and works to master these challenges with grace and ease.

* Develop new coping mechanisms

* Greater character and emotional strength

Experience of adversity, hardship, disability or illness leads to growth and new interpersonal skills –

Albert has been in the army since finishing high school.  He attended basic training where he learned amazing inner control and emotional fortitude.  Although things were difficult in the beginning, Albert felt much more prepared and able to handle the many responsibilities of his position when he was sent to Afghanistan a few years later.  Albert received medals for his skill and decision making on the battlefield when he returned home from his last deployment.

In sum, the existential therapist works with the client to promote autonomy and personal growth  by encouraging the individual to find meaning in his or her life.  Resilience can be described as a flexible, optimistic and well-prepared outlook on life with a hope that problems are temporary and are destined to get better.  Resilient individuals surround themselves with other positive influences and know when to seek help from professionals or other mentors. The final approach follows the law of use; this means the victorious individual uses his or her abilities and tools to improve during adversity, by growing, learning and becoming stronger by constantly moving towards their highest potential.

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